I Couldn't Make You Wait
by TrustMe-IJustGetWeirder
Summary: Spamano fic. Yaoi! Human AU. Trigger warning for suicide. Somewhat sad (duh) and very fluffy. Rated for Lovi's mouth and suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my lovlies! I'm back. I am quite aware I made a spelling mistake, but nobody really bothers to read my author notes anyway, sigh... Anyway, this is spamano in a human AU and is rather depressing fluff, so enjoy.**

Overdose? Check.

Cutting? Tried it.

Suffocation? Attempt failed.

God, I even tried to fucking set myself on fire, but I just couldn't die! It's not fair! I stared down at my feet. I was disgusted with myself. I could never do anything right, not even end my own life. Maybe that's why he didn't love me.

Who? You may ask, or not, I'm guessing the latter because nobody really cares. But if you do, than it's Antonio. The fucking tomato bastard that stole my heart.

The worst part was, he was my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my everything. Well that and he already had a girlfriend. Her name was Bella, and he seems truly happy with her.

I shouldn't try and take that away from him.

Why do my god-damn feelings get in the way of everything anyways? It isn't as if anyone actually hears me anyway. Antonio was the closest thing I ever had.

I stared down from my spot on the bridge, gazing into the murky water hundreds of feet below. I leaned against on of the supports on the bridge as I contemplated all this. I soon slipped off my shoes and dropped my phone onto the concrete.

I guess my decision had been sealed. I remembered writing a letter to my little brother and grandfather. I knew that they would be better off without me, I was just a burden. Then I texted Antonio and told him that I loved him.

Fat lot off good that'll do. It's already well past midnight, so he may not even get my message before I die. At least that's what I'm hoping for. I don't want him to feel like this was his fault or that he could have done something.

The world should know that this was my decision.

I smiled sickly and looked around one last time. The last time I would ever see this shit-hole. At east thats what I told myself. I couldn't think of here as home or else I might not be able to let go. It's hard enough as it is.

I looked up towards the sky and whispered to the wind what I hoped would be the last words from Lovino Vargas.

"Im coming, Mama. Goodbye, World." then I let myself fall, just barley seeing a glimpse of someone in the distance, yelling at me. Then my world went dark.

**Antonio's POV**

I gazed at my phone, waiting for something to happen. I had broken it off with Bella and had sent the message to Lovino. I guess I wanted to know how he would take it. Bella knew how I felt about him, and so she had broken up with me so I could tell him that and see his reaction. Crafty girl, and a great friend.

Soon, I got something back from Lovi. I smiled to myself, but soon that smile turned into a horrified face as the phone shattered on my floor.

Before I knew it myself, I was out the door rushing towards the old bridge at the edge of town. I saw him falling as I ran to the end of the concrete, reaching out my hand in a futile attempt to reach him. As soon as his body hit the water, a sickening crack rang through the silent are, and my heart shattered. Without thinking, I dove into the icy water, searching feverishly for Lovino.

I searched until my lungs screamed for air. Quickly reaching the surface, I took a short gasp of air and dove quickly back down, opening my eyes to the salty water. Soon I spotted a curl of amber leading to the face and body of the boy I knew so well. His hazel eyes were screwed shut and his soft lips were slightly parted. I quickly swam over to him and made our way up to the surface.

I held the unconscious Vargas bridal style as I began to drag us up to the sandy bank of the wide river. As soon as I had made sure that Lovi and I were safely on the shore, I had enough sense to check his pulse. It was weak but still there. I sighed in relief as held him close, attempting to conserve as much heat we had.

Soon, I heard footsteps approaching, and as if on impulse I pulled Lovino's lithe body even closer to me. His skinny frame seemed to fit in mine perfectly as I gazed down at his sleeping face.

When the footsteps stopped, a trio of people were standing mere feet from where we lay. I looked up at them warily. Two were medics and the third was a policeman. As they drew ever slightly closer, I could begin to make out some of their features in the darkness. They were gazing down at me as I stared at them.

I could only imagine what they saw. A eighteen year old male cradling an unconscious seventeen year old boy possessively. The both of us drenched in water laying on the beach.

Soon, we were in an ambulance, rushing towards the hospital. I clutching Lovino's cold hand as if it was a life line. Soon I myself passed out, dreading what was coming.

~AWildLineBreakHasAppeared!~

When I came to, I was in a hospital, my hand grasping something soft and warm, a steady beeping in the background. Soon, I realized that it was my tiny tomato's hand I was holding. I squeezed it gently, as not to wake him. I then noticed that the beeping was coming from the heart monitor hooked up to Lovi.

Eventually he to awoke and promptly began to glare daggers at me. I smiled sheepishly and then rushed over to hug him. He, to my surprise, hugged back and a wide smile spread across my face. He smiled softly back at me and then began to speak.

"H-hey Toni." he muttered. He looked so nervous. It was adorable!

"Lovi! I'm so glad your awake!" I exclaimed to the Italian. "I thought that I was going to lose you!" He blushed and looked down.

"Sorry, tomato bastard." he mumbled. I tilted his head up to look me in the eye, my fingers gently grasped his chin to keep his gaze on me and not the floor. Then I asked him the one question that hung in the air.

"Why, Lovi?" I spoke softly.

"B-because. Nobody loves me. I have no purpose. I'm just a burden to everyone. Nobody would miss me if I was gone. I don't even have a future. It was going to happen sometime, so why should I try and avoid it?" he spoke after a moment, letting the tears fall freely down his face. My heart broke as I gathered the small Italian into my arms, softy comforting him.

"Lovi." I whispered. "Lovi, you have no idea how wrong you are." My voice began to crack as I spoke. Lovino gazed up at me, his large hazel eyes shone with unshed tears.

"I love you, Lovi." I spoke softly as I too began to cry. "I love you more than anything else in the world. Nothing could ever change that." I tilted his head up once more and closed the small gap between us.

His lips were soft and sweet, molding perfectly into my own as my arms snaked around his skinny waist. His own arms were draped around my neck, and his fingers tangled themselves in my hair. His eyes had flickered shut and mine soon followed. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt the sparks they talk about when thay say you feel when your in love. Our kiss was long and sweet, filled with everything that was left unsaid.

When we pulled away, Lovino's face was a deep res and I could feel a smile dance on my lips. He gazed up at me and I could tell that he was feeling the same way I was.

"Te amo, Lovi."

**Okay then, my lovlies! This is the happy, fluffy ending everyone loves. Chappie two is an alternate, yet still fluffy ending. It's also kinda sad, so enjoy it (I guess)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chappie 2, the alternate ending~ It has arrived! Enjoy!**

Antonio's POV

I waited silently outside of the operation room. Lovino had broken a few ribs when he fell, and he needed surgery to set them back into place. The only issue I had with the operation was that they were working very close to Lovi's heart, and after what we had been through, I was worried.

I was attempting to convince myself that Lovino was going to be fine, and it was going quite well until something in the room to my left caused my blood to run cold.

"CLEAR!" Someone yelled franticly.

"Quickly! We're loosing him!" Another voice rang out. My eyes widened in horror. This couldn't be happening!

I heard the sounds of more doctors rushing around, blood transfusions being rushed in and nurses calling for help. I began to pray that Lovino would be okay. Yet an hour later, a gurney cloaked in a white sheet race passed me. A lone amber curl protruding from the sea of white.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

Eventually, a doctor came up to me, from the room I had quickly grown to hate with all my being.

"Mr. Carriedo?" he asked me softly.

"Yes." I replied coldly. "What do you want?" My face was twisted into a hard glare.

"Mr. Vargas, he left something for you." He held out an envelope. "I'm sorry. We tried everything that we could. He knew that he wouldn't make it. He wrote you this before hand to give to you. He was very brave." He kneeled beside me and handed the paper to me. I recognized Lovino's messy scrawl across the top. I clutched it tightly to my chest as I began to sob again. The doctor soon left and I tore open the note.

_Antonio-_

_If you have this, then I'm dead. Sorry. I just wanted you to know that I love you. So bastard, I'll wait for you, however long it takes. Don't let it go to your head, though._

_Have a happy life, do something special for me. Be the happy bastard that you always have been._

_Tell Feli that I'm sorry and Grandpa that I didn't actually hate him. I'm gonna miss you, Toni. Take care of yourself._

_Love, Lovino_

I clasped the note to my chest and sobbed even harder. I knew what I had to do.

I left the terrible building that took Lovi away from me and headed for home. Once there, I wrote a letter of my own and left it on the table where I knew that Feliciano would see it when he came to visit me the next day. Then, I ran to the bridge.

Once there, I kicked off my shoes and neared the edge. This must have been how Lovi felt. Gazing down and knowing what he was sacrificing and leaving behind. I looked up into the now night sky and sighed.

"I'll be with you soon Lovino." I whispered and then let myself fall. This time when I hit the water, I let it take me.

~ItsALineBreakOhMiGod~

When I awoke, I saw Lovino glaring down at me.

"Lovi!" I exclaimed to him.

"Bastard! You were supposed to die when you were like 100 and were old and senile. You were supposed to have kids and be happy! Not commit suicide!"

"Sorry Lovi, I couldn't make you wait." I said and leaned in to kiss my tiny tomato. We were safe now, together forever.

~SooooFluffy!OhLookAnotherFreakingLineBrake!~

Feliciano's POV

I entered Antonio's house, looking for my spanish friend. I searched everywhere for him. I was worried how he was taking Lovino's death. Yet the only thing I found was a note with my name on it.

I opened the envelope and it's contents spilled onto my lap. All that was there were two letters. One was from my brother. I read it and tears filled my eyes. He only got to tell Toni he loved him after he died. I was such a romantic. The second letter was from Antonio himself.

_Feli-_

_I couldn't live without him. I'm sorry. Please forgive me._

_Antonio_

That was it. I looked up to the heavens, and I could almost see my brother and my friend smiling down at me. I had stopped crying now. I knew it was okay, that they were together at last. And I knew that I would see them again, someday.

**End! Did ya like it? I did. I guess that it never shows how people react after the people are gone and I thought that Feli was the perfect, sweet understanding person. See you next time, my loviles. Bye!**


End file.
